So this week I spent on vacation with my dad in North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, and Atlanta. We drove 1100 miles to his new home in Chester, IL . While this is a considerably shorter amount of time I’ve spent with at my dad’s home, this is the most time we’ve spent together since I could remember. I’ve learned more about him in the last 6 days than I have in 23 years. If you know me, you know we’ve never had the best relationship…In fact I think we’ve had more bad times than good. But As I get older I realize how important fathers are in our lives and whether I like it or not, the older I get the more I become like my dad. My dad is a pretty weird guy….weird is not the right word….eccentric maybe? I don’t know what the fuck you call it but he cracked me up with half the shit he’d say so I started writing it down. I don’t agree with everything he says but he’s usually been right in the past so he might be right this time around….and yes I’m perfectly aware that this is a total rip off of “Shit My Dad Says” but I don’t give a shit, that dude gets paid for it and I don’t so kiss my ass….and buy that book it was really good.
“No Naveed, when you make as much as I do you will be a republican too….although I did vote for Obama….he seems like a pretty nice guy and we share the same middle name.”
“Naveed, money cannot buy you happiness but it can buy you SOMETHING! That is why I have so many things”
”When you are ready to get married go to Pakistan to find a wife….or go to Mexico…or marry a girl here I don’t really care just don’t get a divorce it is very expensive.”
“This Tiger Woods sex addiction is bullshit….how do I know? I am an addiction psychiatrist, what do you mean how do I know? I went to 4 years of medical school and completed three fellowships, how long have you been in school Naveed?”
“You know Naveed I bought that $3,000 Gucci watch and I only wear this $60 Casio, material things are unimportant and I don’t even know where that Gucci watch is….no you cannot have it Naveed because you are irresponsible.”
“Wow Naveed, you moved all of the furniture by yourself, you are very strong….now if you can just focus on your studies…I really don’t care how strong you are.”
“Naveed, explain to me the molecular structure of the fog surrounding those mountains…no Naveed you are never too old for a chemistry quiz…no that’s not right.”
“Dr. Shan, with your 25 years of experience in the field of Psychiatry, what would be your diagnosis of Dr. Rao”-Dr. Riwaanda
“He is very sad”-Dr. Shan
Like I said before the older I get, the more I become like my Dad. As much shit as I talk, the truth is he’s always been there for me and I thank him for that…I do think he’s slightly crazy though.
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