stranded car blog

As I write this, I’m stranded in 111 degree weather on the I-10 and 16^th st. exit ramp….this has been a pretty rough two weeks for me….but at this point I find it rather amusing. In the last two weeks my financial aid was cut off for next school year (no clue how I’m going to pay for that), my car broke down costing $900 in repairs (none of which I have), the loaner truck I’ve been driving for the day broke down about an hour ago (this is what I found funny), and a few other personal issues have caused me to lose more hair, gain more weight, and have a few veins pop out of my neck I had no idea existed. It’s hard to always listen to your own advice, I always say push through it, people have it worse, all of these issues will seem miniscule in a few weeks, or some other catch phrase I picked up from Tony Robbins but man it’s been hard to talk myself out of everything. Last night I was sitting in my office in the fitness center when I got some more shitty news to add on to my troubles….I wasn’t sure whether to cry or destroy everything in sight. With four more pounds to lose for the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu tournament this Sunday, every workout is detrimental but at this point I didn’t really give a shit, I sat there feeling sorry for myself for about 10 minutes until I finally talked to myself into the hurricane training I had scheduled for that night and started walking toward the treadmills. Sitting on the bikes was a middle aged woman pedaling slowly on the bike with a scarf on her head, I realized it was one of my old clients I hadn’t seen in six months. She was about 20lbs lighter, bald, with one of the biggest smiles on her face when she saw me. I choked up a bit when I saw her and gave her a hug, I asked how she was doing and she replied “I’m doing great Naveed, just trying to sweat out this chemo…but just glad to be here” After hearing her words I immediately became ashamed of the way I’d been acting and feeling for the last few days….I was acting like a cowardly little boy, complaining about these petty problems while this sweet amazing woman was going through hell….she then asked me how I was doing and how school was going and all I could say was “not a complaint worth mentioning…life is pretty good” I then gave her my lift strong bracelet, a hug and told her I expected to get a call from her to schedule some free personal training sessions she had earned a few months back. Needless to say, I got through my workout without a bit of self loathing and have “re-realized” how much I have been blessed with.

It’s perfectly fine to complain about our problems and at times we feel better after letting it out but we should always keep in mind a few things.

1) Everybody has problems, everyone you meet is struggling with something….so don’t get mad when your complaints fall on deaf ears or your problems don’t seem so bad when compared to others.

2) Most of life’s shitty little happenstances won’t even be a memory in a month or two, so they’re often not worth complaining about.

3) You are blessed and you have much to be grateful for, never let these blessings stray far from memory. ..be thankful for what you have and who is in your life….

My hands are starting to sweat so much that it’s becoming hard to type so I’ll leave it here, but I hope you take away something from I what I said today.

Negative Nancy

“Stop being such a negative Nancy”

My roommate/big brother Alex told me this as we sat down for our Sunday breakfast….Vince laughed hysterically and I gave Alex the same annoyed stare Deniro gave Joe Pesci while he was yelling at him in the middle of the desert.

While Alex may overuse the phrase and for the sake of his own well being, probably should know better than to insult me on a day I’m fasting (I should probably be in a cave somewhere when I’m in this kind of mood) he was absolutely right….I should stop being so negative. Around this time two years ago, I was probably the most negative and cynical I’ve ever been….and coincidentally, this is around the same time I started my blog….which if you look back were pretty damn cynical. I had just lost my job, just graduated, failing at starting a business, and pretty much hated anything that smiled or wasn’t as miserable as I was.

Around this same time I was training my good friend Brenda Lomeli, who pretty much had the exact opposite view as I did…she did what she wanted, loved what she did, and had an amazing time doing it…meanwhile I was hating life, not enjoying what I was doing, and make everyone suffer around me. While it took some time, I think Brenda’s outlook on life slowly started rubbing off on me…life is pretty fucking awesome, we should enjoy as much of it as we can and take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy it while we’re here.

You may not have the same view point as I do, which is fine you can kiss my ass…but think back to all of the successful people you know, how many of them reached the levels of success they have with a shitty outlook on life? How many people you look up to, who actually reached their goals, did so thinking that they couldn’t the entire time? I do know of one guy….but he’s absolutely miserable and if he ever comes back to Arizona I’m cracking him one in the jaw. I’m not saying a positive attitude will get you everywhere either….I think the idea of “just thinking it will happen, will make it so” is a farse. I'm not saying you have to paint on a fake smile, act like everything's perfect, and give everyone a hug....I probably hate positive pete as much as I hate negative nancy...but I do believe a strong positive attitude, a belief in one’s abilities, and ACTION will produce some amazing results. I’m beginning to hate cynicism….it gets you nowhere, ages you faster, and while there’s no scientific research to prove it….I think it makes you smell bad.

annoyances

A few things have been annoying the hell out of me lately….maybe it’s high testosterone levels, maybe because I’m close to a tournament I’m becoming more aggressive, or maybe people are just going about things ass backwards. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve been a bit “on edge” as of late. This isn’t to say I’m pissed off all the time, quite the contrary….I’m actually really happy right now and my life is pretty awesome, I think my fuse is just a bit shorter now a days. Now I don’t necessarily think it’s me….I think it’s you…well no not you, the fellows I know and the fellows you know….maybe a virus is spreading removing common sense from people's minds….Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no one’s judge, jury, critic, moral compass, or role model….I hate to be told what to do and I don’t tell people what to do (even though it kind of is my job) I do feel a few people need a few reminders of a few things…

1) Blaming others for your problems/mistakes...here’s the bottom line and I know I’ve said this a million times on this blog…you’re the only one responsible for your actions and you are the one who will deal with the consequences. No one can force you to do anything…this isn’t communist china….this is America dammit…if you want to spend 16 hours of your weekend watching the “Say Yes to the Dress” marathon then that is your god given right…if you want to eat a whopper, Large Fries, and a GIANT COKE have at it, if you want to spend your entire pay check on some stupid new gadget you won’t use in 6 weeks then you should be able to….you worked hard for that fancy gadget…just don’t complain when you gain 20lbs, can’t pay your rent, or get bed sores from sitting on your ass all weekend….maybe the bed sores are an exaggeration but you get my point….no one forces you to do anything…your kids don’t stop you from working out, your fraternity brothers won’t drag you out of the library, and your girlfriend doesn’t force you to spend your entire paycheck on her….and if she does you should probably dump her.

2) With the exception of doing any type of harm to others I’m starting to develop a more subjective view of the ideals behind what is right and what is wrong…what’s wrong to me may be right to you and what’s right to me may go against every fiber in your being, it’s really just up to your morals and personality…but I do believe that with every decision you make you have to be prepared to deal with consequences…is the juice worth the squeeze….in the short you might think it is….you might think that juice was the most delectable thing you’ve ever tasted….you might say to yourself that I’d be willing to give up everything else for this sweet sweet nectar….now in the end it you may be right….that juice was worth giving up everything else for and the rewards outweigh the consequences….or you might realize you’ve been drinking horse piss for the last 6 months….

3) saying you’re going to do something and leaving it at that….I’d say about once a week I get a person…whether it be a close friend or acquaintance coming up to me telling that “next week….Monday as soon as I wake up I’m going to start working out, start eating healthy, and start being bad ass!!!! Just wait ‘til Monday!!!” I’m not sure how to ever respond to this, I try not to be cynical so usually I just respond “that’s awesome man, best of luck with that” but usually I’m thinking “no you’re not….you’re going to wake up with a sore back from nothing….go for a 2 minute power walk until the slightest physical discomfort stops you, come home and eat a bowl of wheaties because you think it’s healthy….then you’ll cave at work when you see the cheap birthday cake for Melinda, the 60 year-old diabetic who can’t eat the birthday cake anyway….then someone will steal your red stapler”. This is just one example…it could be anything…I’m going to learn how to cook! I’m going to get above a 4.0 next semester! I’m going to be a cowboy!!!! While I hate to say it….you probably won’t ever be a cowboy….you give up at the slightest obstacle and don’t really care about integrity….maybe because you don’t consider those things important and maybe they’re not…but if I say I’m going to do something you can bet your flaky ass I’m going to do it…

4) telling people what to do or criticizing others for their actions...okay I know what you’re thinking….I just spent the last 5 paragraphs criticizing others and telling them what to do….and I don’t mean it this way….because that would be contradicting myself and that’s something Naveed Shan would never do nor would I refer to myself in third person, nor would I use a double negative in a sentence. What I’m referring to is offering unwarranted advice or criticisms when you weren’t asked…your opinion means diddly….DI-DUH-LEE….unless you’re my mom I really could care less what you think of me…my morals are my morals and my decisions probably won’t affect you so what makes your think I need your commentary regarding this amazing spectacularly action packed rom-com movie that is my life?!?! People always assume I get pissed off when I see people eat badly….in fact John “hot nickel” Rojas insists on rubbing in my face the fact that he drinks dr. pepper, eats peter piper for lunch, and drinks beer by the barrel….I’m not sure if he does this as a joke or he’s trying to piss me off….but I don’t give a shit either way….I love John and I think he’s one of the best dudes ever but I don’t care what he chooses to gorge on….although I am a bit of a pizza snob and wouldn’t ruin my palate with “food” like PPP. What you decide to do with your life is not my business and while I care for all of my friends and only wish them the best success and health, it’s not my place to lecture you, telling you what to do, or how you fucked up…