Semester Owned...

Finally finished another semester....a victorious finish at that. I managed to get a 4.11 for the semester taking 18 credits, while working 40+ hours a week, still eating right, working out at least 4 times a week, getting enough sleep for the most part, and still fitting in a few fun things along the way. You might say to yourself that my major is easy and that because I have a passion for the field of study I’m pursuing I should get straight A’s….well yea you’re fuckin’ right I have a passion for it, why would you spend four years studying something you didn’t have any interest in….and no it’s definitely not easy, try learning metabolic and endocrine pathways, management practices, and every insertion, origin, and action of over 400 muscles and tell me if it’s easy you condescending prick. So this blog is mostly directed at the youngsters still in school, still suffering through all-nighters, cramming the night before exams, and averaging out a 2.5 GPA for the semester wondering what the hell happened….and even if you’re not in school this may help out in some other area of your life. This is basically a list of things that helped me through the semester and a few mistakes I made along the never ending path of academia…

1) Follow your passion…I’ve seen guys major in accounting and go on to make six figures on wall street only to absolutely hate their jobs and regret going to school for it. I’ve known Biology majors who hoped to get into medical school and study 4 years of science, even though they hated science and graduate with a GPA any medical school board would laugh at. I still don’t know why I got a goddamn psych degree, truth is I hate PSYCHOLOGY!!!!!!!! Shit is ridiculous and the only thing more ridiculous is me spending four years studying it. Find your passion, I don’t care if it’s botany, aeronautics, nursing, political science, doodling….I don’t care what it is but find it….if something makes you so happy you can spend the rest of your life doing why would you not?!?!? Money?! Money will be there regardless of whatever subject you choose, you just have to learn how to make it. Parents?! Your parents might want you to do something but they won’t be paying your bills in 20 years. You might even realize you don’t need college to be whatever you want to be, so save yourself 4 years and $20,000.

2) Spending too much time on facebook….what the fuck are you doing…you have a 20 page paper due tomorrow but you absolutely need to post about where your studying, who you’re studying with, and how the other person is not studying?! Stop….you’re an idiot and you just wasted an hour updating your facebook and looking at people’s profile pictures from 2007. I will admit I spend too much time on facebook, actually anything more than five minutes on facebook is a waste of time, but I’m not updating my status saying fml, smh, clubhayden, or posting videos from world star hip hop when I have a paper due the next day….I’m writing the damn paper.

3) Don’t ignore your health. It seems to be cool now to brag about not sleeping the night before an exam, downing 8 red bulls in an hour, eating an entire pizza while studying, and binge drinking on the weekend to celebrate the B- you got on your two page paper. That isn’t cool….that’s 15lbs of fat gained during the semester, catching a cold every 2 weeks, and the negative impacts of cortisol on every aspect of health including cognition. It takes me just as much time to grill a chicken breast as it does to go through a drive thru. If I don’t waste my weekends like a dumbass partying I actually get enough work completed so I don’t have to stay up all night. I do something physically demanding everyday and I even started skipping rope while studying (geek insert: I actually believe that a boost in oxygen intake through exercise actually increases mental performance and cognitive abilities with studying…but that’s for a future dissertation) Bottom line is your health comes first, eat right, stay active, and get enough sleep...

4) Stop complaining about classes….it’s ridiculous. You enrolled yourself in college, you chose your major, you registered for classes, and you paid thousands of dollars per semester to be here….so why complain?! If anything you should be hyped that you’re attending college and pursuing a degree…late nights in the library? Your choice. 10 page paper? Your choice. 100 question practical exam on the entire human body? My choice….while I may not have had a smile on my face the entire semester, I always kept in mind that it was my decision to be here and if given the option I would be in the exact same place learning and doing what I love…

What the Hell Happened to Men?!?!

What the hell happened to men? Not sure if it’s just been the last few months, the last few years, or the last few decades but it seems like men are slowly disappearing…maybe it’s the plastic containers we use and the chemicals they contain, maybe the estrogenic hormones from animal produce, maybe the radiation from cell phones in our pockets lowering our sperm count to half of what it was 50 years ago….I’m not sure…but I remember as a kid I was surrounded by men I idolized….Deion Sanders, Sly Stallone, my Dad and his friends, and the Mexican cop from Chips, how awesome was that guy?!?! Now I’m surrounded by frail, insecure shells who wear skinny jeans, low cut v-necks, and worry about their man boobs…MAN has become a four letter word, it evokes images of low browed, homophobic, misogynic Neanderthals with boners...that’s not a man, that’s just an asshole and I’m none of those things…most of the time…but I am a man dammit….a proud one at that. I may not be into most sports and I don’t know shit about cars but I lift heavy ass weights, I can build damn near anything, and I can grill the best steak you’ve ever had. Maybe men are still around….maybe underneath the girlfriend jeans, the ambiguous Nicholas Sparks quotes, and the sad crying faces posted on facebook men are still around…I hope:’( It seems we have forgot what is and should be deemed acceptable for men and what you should have stopped doing when you were 8…not you man

We don’t whine…we can cry and that’s perfectly fine…I’ve cried when my tia died, when Samee was in the hospital, and when Cain Velasquez got knocked out…sometimes you just can’t help that shit…but don’t whine…you don’t sit and sulk, bitching about your life and your shitty little problems….you fix it like a man dammit.

We have guy friends…male camaraderie, we have brotherhood, we have doooood’s night out…it’s not going to change...if it does…if somehow your malicious girlfriend managed to strip away all of your guy friends because they’re a bad influence, because it’s stupid and childish then you’re no longer a man…you’re a eunuch who’s Saturday highlight is going to bath and bodyworks and appletinis after (for the record, Ivette has never done this to me…she drinks Strongbow with a shot of Jameson)…you need this…you need this time to talk shit, to tell crude jokes, and to watch the UFC fight or Iron Chef, whatever floats your boat….They say you’re the average of the five people you’re around the most….so would you rather be the average of the five best men you know or the average of your girlfriend and her girlfriends…

Men don’t lie down in a fetal position hoping the world would end when faced with adversity….men MAN UP!!!!!

Men don’t need validation for a job well done…they just need to do the job well….a certificate with a sticker on it and a pat on the back for getting honor roll stopped when we were in 8^th grade…After that the world became an ugly and dark place…if I know I’m doing something right I don’t need an award or recognition for it, the fact that I finished something and kicked ass doing it is fine by me.

Men are simple creatures…we are…it’s hard to read between the lines and to know what you mean sometimes because the world is black and white to us, so we are naïve in that context. We say what we mean and assume you mean what you say…or at least hope it’s that simple…

I am a man. I’m an honest, hard-working, deadlifting, arm-barring, intelligent man…I always will be and that will never change. Does that make me sexist? No. A Neanderthal? No. The women who say they hate men should stop dating boys and the boys who are afraid to be men need to grow a fucking pair…

"that's un-possible!!!"

Nothing is impossible….well I shouldn’t say nothing but I think impossible is the most overused word in language today next to “can’t”. I remember in my morbidly obese years when I was nine, picking up Bruce Lee’s book and reading about his workout regimen and I thought to myself “man Bruce Lee works out five times a week?! That’s impossible, I could never do that.” Now I peak out my training cycles to ten workouts a week. I remember the summer before my first year at ASU a close friend telling me it was “impossible or at least highly improbable that you could get straight A’s” and I believed him…until I realized he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about and I got straight A’s. Jay-z said it best “difficult takes a day, impossible takes a week…this is nothin’ to me” I love that line. Most of us stop at the first obstacle you run into, thinking that whatever the task at hand is impossible and you don’t have the skills, talent, strength, or intelligence to do it….well as Henry Ford once said “whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” We set so many limitations for ourselves and hinder our progress that nearly every goal seems impossible.

To most people when they use the word “impossible” they really mean “more effort than I care to put into, if it were easier I’d do it”….well that’s fine but say that instead so you don’t sound like such a pussy. Losing 100lbs isn’t impossible, climbing Mount Everest isn’t impossible, running a marathon isn’t impossible, making a million dollars isn’t impossible…but all of it is damn difficult and most give up before they even start. We’ve become a nation of lazy asses looking for the quick fix, the easiest route, and secret pill….well it’s all horse shit and none of it works so stop wasting your time and money.

I challenge you to take a goal that you’ve deemed “impossible” and conquer it…it may take a day, month, or even a year but if you put everything you have into it leaving no room for failure I promise you will ultimately achieve that goal.

25 lessons in 25 years

25 friggin’ years…man I’m getting old and the years aren’t going by any slower. It’s been a great quarter century though, I’ve seen and done some amazing things and while I’m not proud of every decision I’ve made in my life, I couldn’t be happier with where I am now…Each birthday I write a blog on the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned throughout my time here and I like to share a few ideas that hit me along the way….so here are the 25 lessons I’ve learned in 25 years…

1. Find your Jiu jitsu. Find something you have a great passion for and make sure it is a staple in everyday life….it makes every else so much easier.
2. Nobody likes cynicism, they might find comfort in the fact that someone feels as shitty as they do but no one truly likes a cynical outlook on life.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others, they have taken a completely different path with innate or developed abilities you may or may not have. Comparing yourself to others to measure your self-worth will only lead to disappointment in the long run.
4. You can’t control when you get a flat tire, when the IRS decides to rape you and take your money for god knows what, or when someone else is going to be an asshole to you…. You only have control of your attitude towards a situation.
5. Do everything you can ahead of time, plan out your workouts early, prepare your meals ahead of time, complete and submit homework and work projects early….procrastination will only lead to stress, worry, and less quality work.
6. Change isn’t a bad thing; change is inevitable and in most instances a good thing. You may not see it as such in the short term but if you learn and adapt, it can lead to a greater outcome.
7. Love what you do….it’s hard for me to empathize with people who hate their jobs and I’ve had some pretty crappy one’s on my resume but I love what I do…it’s a “chosen career path” not a mandated one, if you have to pay your bills make sure it’s coming from money you enjoyed earning.
8. Get rid of the shitty people in your life…friends and family don’t hurt you, hold you back, or bring you down and if they do they don’t deserve the title. There’s no law saying you have to maintain any type of relationship with these people….unless they’re your kids then ignore this rule.
9. Go all out or none at all….a half ass job should never be acceptable, do everything you can with passion and drive or don’t bother doing it all. Being tired may be an excuse but there’s no excuse for being lazy.
10. Happiness isn’t the amount of money in your bank account, it isn’t a body fat percentage, the number of notches on your belt, or when you finally meet the perfect person….happiness is a choice…you can either choose to be happy or choose to be miserable.
11. People will try to label and stereotype you anyway they want but their judgment of you means absolutely nothing….I’ve been called a mindless meathead for the past 7 years but it’s usually from people who couldn’t do a single push up.
12. There is no excuse for poor nutrition habits...It doesn’t have to be expensive, time consuming or “bad tasting” to be good for you. As Martin Rooney would say, it’s just as easy to eat healthy food as it is to eat unhealthy food, you always have a choice…
13. If you are in a position to help others, do it….I’ve never regretted helping a person in need and neither should you.
14. “Do as I say, not as I do” is total bullshit….lead by example and others will follow….no one wants a fat personal trainer who doesn’t work out just like no one wants a bankrupt accountant doing their taxes. Be the person you want others emulate.
15. Be grateful for what you have and work towards getting what you want. People constantly complain about what they don’t have and seldom say they’re thankful for everything they’ve been blessed with, stop that.
16. Delayed gratification feels ten times better then immediate gratification in every aspect of life…
17. Any physical activity is good as long as you’re doing something. I’m through arguing with bodybuilders, crossfitters, or marathon runners on what style of training is better….if you’re doing something, it’s helping you and if you’re reading this sitting on your couch eating some doritos get off your ass and do any of the above, it all works….
18. Be nice to strangers …not sure why it seems to be human nature to give a person either a blank stare or the stink eye as you pass them in the street but try to smile more and give random people high fives…it’s a pretty awesome feeling but use sanitizer soon after, who knows where their hands have been.
19. Always attempt to grow and learn. Striving for perfection means there’s an end goal in sight but they’re shouldn’t be one, strive for excellence...you can always be stronger, be faster, be smarter and you should never stop growing because once you do that all you’re doing is waiting.
20. The human body is a magnificent machine, thousands of mechanisms happening just to keep you alive second by second…it’s truly a beautiful thing….unfortunately it wasn’t designed for half the shit we put it through…
21. Everything you do has a consequence or a reward. Staying up late on a Thursday to watch the Jersey Shore? then you probably killed a couple brain cells and didn’t get as much sleep as you needed. Everything you do is either putting you a step forward or taking you a step back from your goal but that choice is yours and yours only.
22. Learn to say “no”. This is probably the hardest one I’ve had to understand but it’s definitely the most important. You can’t please everyone, and trying to will just lead to resentment, do what you can when you can but It’s alright if you can’t do whatever someone is asking you for, I’m sure they’ll survive…unless it’s like a kidney or something.
23. You can’t change people, nothing you can say or do will change a person’s habits, flaws, or personality…accept people for who they are or choose not to be around those people
24. Follow your passions, not the expectations of others. It’s your parents dream for you to go to law school, not yours …find what makes you happy and pursue it with your entire being and I promise you success…if it aligns with other’s expectations then great but if not, I’m sure they’ll understand
25. Obstacles are a part of life, they will always be there on any path you take…even the easiest ones. You can either stop at that obstacle and try to find comfort in quitting early or you bulldoze through that motherfucker leaving it in crumbles sprinting towards the next one, it’s your choice.

Are you ready?

“Are you ready?”

This is a question I used pose to my clients when they’re start training with me…most people reply with a passive “ya” or “sure” which usually means “I don’t know what I’m getting into and have not adjusted myself to make the commitments you’re asking.” So now I added a bit to the question I now ask clients.

“I take my job very seriously, if you tell people you’re my client they will look at you as an example of my work so essentially you are marketing yourself to others and there is such a thing as bad marketing. I can help you achieve any goal you’d like to accomplish….run faster, jump higher, add muscle, lose fat, get stronger, look good naked….whatever you’d like to accomplish we can get you there but you’ll be the one doing most of the work. You will be the one who is ultimately responsible for what you eat, drink, and if you do the workouts or not. it’s all a choice but you have to change your behavior. You have to stop eating the way you have, drinking the way you have, and exercising the way you have because up to now it really hasn’t been working. You’ll have to make changes that you may not like but if you want to accomplish your goals you’ll just have to suck it up…so are you ready?”

Truth be told the majority of people don’t need the latest and greatest exercise regimen and nutrition program. Unless you’re an elite bodybuilder, athlete, or walking around at 8% body fat you don’t need to worry about macronutrient timing, conjugated periodization, carbohydrate cycling, or anything you’re “friend who works out a lot” told you about. I’m willing to bet you already know enough about nutrition….don’t believe me? Take this multiple choice questions and see.

What would be the healthiest breakfast for you to consume?

A) cocoa puffs

B)left over pizza from last night

C) 3 eggs, a bowl of fruit, and a glass of organic milk

D) nothing, I don’t have time to eat breakfast!!!

What did you choose? I hope C, and if you said anything else I’m sorry but you’re an idiot….so you decide to change your current eating habits…you head to the grocery store and load up on fresh vegetables, fruits and lean meats…you eat great the first two days but then all of the sudden it’s a friend’s birthday coming up….uh oh….the temptation is right there in your face….that fry’s bought cake with blue frosting is staring you down and you decide to just have a small piece….then you are saddened by the fact that you screwed up your diet so you decide “fuck it, I’ll just get back on it Monday” and proceed to shove everything down your throat….you weren’t ready….

Exercise is a bit more difficult to decipher with all the information you’re bombarded with…you have marathoners arguing with crossfitters who argue with bodybuilders bickering with power lifters who are all fighting with some 300lbs internet fitness guru who are all trying to find the best way to burn fat, build muscle, get stronger and look better naked…I’m willing to bet with a little guidance you’d be able to get by in the gym….but you have to get to the gym….most people don’t make it that far…they buy the new P90X dvd’s, sign a yearlong contract at a gym, buy Underarmour everything, hit up their closest GNC for a kick ass pre-workout supp…you’re all set but unfortunately you forgot one important thing, you’re not really ready….you haven’t changed your attitude toward training….you still view it as an annoying chore that you don’t enjoy, it’s still something you have to just get through….and you will find any excuse not to do it...you weren’t ready.

It’s all mental, behavior modification….once you realize that the change you’re looking for takes more than just buying the right foods, getting that gym membership, and hiring me (although I would help you tremendously)…it takes you….you have to be ready….be ready to change your life. You have to be ready for the peer pressure from friends who want to go out for pizza and wings. You have to be ready to force yourself into the gym even though you are tired, still sore from the day before, and had a long day. You have to be ready to get up a little bit earlier to prep all of your meals. You have to be ready to not reach for that delicious decadent ice cream sandwich as comfort food. You have to be ready to climb over, jump across, or bulldoze through every shitty little obstacle that presents itself in front of you….so I ask again….Are you ready?

Dad's Words of Wisdom PT. 2

I’m writing this some 30,000 feet in the air on my way back to Phoenix. I just spent the last week in Glenview, IL which is an affluent suburb of Chicago with my Dad and stepmom. The majority of the week was spent being force fed Pakistani food, watching a 50 year old western show on Netflix called Cheyenne, and trying to convince my dad to change pajama pants each day. My dad’s a bit of an odd guy…which isn’t saying much from a fucking weirdo like me but if you’ve ever wondered where I get my “eccentricity” from it’s probably from the Y chromosome Dr. Shan gave me. My dad has never been hesitant to impart his words of wisdom on me…so I thought I’d share a few of his thoughts.

Thoughts on Religion

“Naveed, I don’t care what religion you practice…the main purpose of such organized beliefs is to develop a conscious for man”-Dr. Shan

“You mean conscience?”-Naveed
“Yes that too….it is to develop a conscience and conscious for man”-Dr. Shan

“wait, what?”-naveed

Thoughts on Grooming

“Naveed, shave your beard…the TSA will think you’re a terrorist”-Dr. Shan

“ya because the common Muslim name you gave me won’t be a red flag”-Naveed
“No one likes sarcasm Naveed”-Dr. Shan

Thoughts on Marriage & Family

“Naveed, a good age to get married and have children is 28… I don’t like little children though so take your time”-Dr. Shan

“Did you like me when I was little?”-naveed

“ya…I guess…I don’t remember it was some time ago”-Dr. Shan

Thoughts on Automobiles

“Naveed, you’re having car problems? You know I’ve had very few problems with these cars I purchased, they are very reliable…you should have purchased a Lexus, not an American car”-Dr. Shan

“uhh…Dad I don’t have money for a Lexus”-Naveed
“oh, good point”-Dr. Shan

In one of the books I’m currently reading, I came across the concept of “parent lottery”, the author’s idea was that he was able to fulfill all of his life’s dreams because of the parents he was blessed with and the teachings they instill in him. While I make fun of my dad a bit and we’ve not always saw eye to eye, I’m thankful to have a dad I could look up to and one who has always been there for me, as well as a person who has always tried to guide down the right path….regardless of the times I was a snotty ungrateful little shit (my words, not his).