THING THAT I HATE
Spence and Heidi-so I was asked to write on the subject by my buddy Vanessa...so I ask you first, who the fuck are Spence and Heidi? No I kid, I’m not that devoid of pop culture. I remember watching these two while channel surfing and always wondered why anybody gave a shit. First off, why is that guy such a whiny little bitch and why does he make want to take a nail gun to my ears and eyes so I don’t have to watch or hear him? (I supplement this by just changing the channel)

And why isn’t a crime for him to be taking advantage of a mentally handicap girl like that, is he marrying her for her ss check? I will never understand the concept of these types of reality shows...sure my biggest loser and all that I get, its everyday people doing wacky things...but why would you wanna watch these two assholes when you’re in probably just as much of a painful relationship as they are??? I've touched on the subject of reality TV but seriously...what the fuck is wrong with everyone??? Isn't this it all scripted anyway? So you’re watching it because its more realistic but they are basically told what to do on camera...it's like the WWF but replace Heidi with one of the ring girls and Spence with the new wrestler that looks like he was in an 80's hair band, now turned fluffer...

THING THAT IS DOPE
So I follow a trainer/fitness writer who works for tmuscle magazine (no...its nothing like Muscle & Fitness). His name is Nate Green and he's a hell of a guy, you can check out his website here http://www.thenategreenexperience.com anywho, he recently wrote a blog called "five things that make your life better" and being the great writer that I am decided to steal the idea but change it enough to not get sued...so here it is five THINGS THAT ARE DOPE and make life better.

1) A nice cigar and a coffee when the stars are out....ya ya...I'm a personal trainer and its unhealthy but I've seen dentist with bad teeth so leave me alone...I seldom have time to myself so when I do get a chance I try to make it as unhealthy as possible

2) A productive day off...doing enough to not feel lazy but not enough to actually be considered work...

3) Unplanned vacations....this references random road trips or flights you hadn't planned and not ruining the damn thing with a schedule of events...what the fuck's the point if you're in a rush to get from point a to b if you can't stop by and waste time wherever the hell you want?!?!

4) Cheat meals:)....I once went 2 months with absolutely no carbs but allowed myself a spoonful of peanut butter on the weekends...I'm not a 100% sure...but I think I saw God each time...I think as a culture we overindulge and leads to desensitizing us in all the sweeter things in life...and this only pertains to be people who eat clean and not McDonalds and fat free brownies every other meal....

5) Great conversation with great friends...and I don't mean you sitting there talking about ass and what happened on Lost the night before...good friends and good conversations come few and far between, so make it worth your while and take it for what it's worth.

Thing that is dope: Ice cream sandwiches....man...I remember my first ice cream sandwich, it was at my first baseball game me mum took me to, I was 5 years old. I don't remember shit about the game, who the angels played, if they lost, hell...I don't even like baseball very much but I remember that ice cream sandwich. I remember being the fat little 8 year old I was chasing the ice cream man down the street bare foot burning the shit out of my feet just to get my hands on those delectable treats...ice cream sandwich how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...however many sandwiches I can eat in one sitting.... which is currently a record of 23 after making weight for that PL competition...

Thing that I hate: carlos mencia...I consider myself a comedy snob, and a pretty good critic...that and I'm just a hilarious ass dude. That being said I feel I'm a pretty good judge on what's funny and what's dumb.... carlos falls into the latter group, I've never thought this guy was funny, I think he's a loud mouth shock comedian equivalent to a shorter Rush Limbaugh trying to be Dave Chappelle. I also gather that this guy steals jokes from other comics and isn't even liked in comedy. I remember a few years back a Chicano studies professor was giving extra credit for going to one of his stand ups and writing a paper on it. Well I lost all respect for her and I wanted to just write 10 pages on how much of a fucking retard this guy is and how much of a retard she was for trying to make us do that. Now I’m not gonna say you’re an idiot if you find him funny...but...well you’re an idiot if you think he’s funny. And isn’t the dude Honduran? Yet he’s constantly making fun of Mexicans and calling everyone a wetback, granted most people would call everyone south of the border wetback but I still don’t like it…fucking Hondurans….
"I took credit for it because I'm not actually funny!....I just take jokes and repackage them with a Mexican accent!"-Carlos Mencia, South Park