Thing that I hate: Celebrity gossip

So the recent news about tiger Woods and his sexual deviance has flooded everything from People to Time to Cnn to Espn...:/

as a society we have gotten so dull and moronic we have to talk about the lives of celebrities to bring anything of interest into our own...well I didn't mean "we" I meant you, my life is like a motherfucking roller coaster while injecting test and winstrol into my veins. I don't give a shit about Jennifer Aniston and her getting the stink eye from Angelina on the red carpet, but you do...because it’s on the cover of some stupid fucking magazine I have to look at while I'm waiting in line at the store.

Any way back to Tiger, now that fans have realized he isn't reincarnated baby Jesus, you got every asshole giving their opinion and saying what a prick he is and how he's given golf a bad name.....fuck that, unless you personally know the guy and/or is affected by his ridiculous sex drive, what you think really doesn't matter….it really doesn’t.

Now I’m not justifying cheating...and I don’t want any angry emails from the three people who read this. I think committing to someone means being faithful regardless of who you are. I just don’t give a shit because I’m not the one getting a divorce and giving $500,000,000 to my wife nor is my girlfriend cheating on me with 11 women…

Thing That is Dope: Christmas!!!!

This is probably unexpected coming from a guy who hates half the shit he writes about but I actually do enjoy the holidays at the end of the year, I have a great circle of friends and family who make it a great time and I actually get a day off of work...buying presents you hope loved ones will enjoy and you can’t forget about the cookies….god damn my mom’s snickerdoodle’s are the bees knees….THE BEE’S FUCKING KNEES, she probably wouldn’t like me describing her cookies with the word “fucking” but I digress.

While at times we do miss the point of Christmas, like when you elbowed that old lady who was trying to grab the last flat screen on Black Friday….I think the true meaning is still there….and being a guy who everyone says is hard to shop for I’ll use this outlet as an opportunity to list perfect gifts for me:

Elite fitness Gear-this is where I get most of my power lifting stuff

Bulky Boy Clothing (the only clothing line I know that sizes go by the rolls on your neck)

Lucky Cologne-it’s cheap and smells like I’d imagine god’s navel would smell like

Vintage Tees-Large regular size, XL slim fit

Anything Under Armour-you can buy me socks and I’d be fuckin’ psyched

Hookahs-granted we’re opening a hookah lounge but you can never have enough hookah....