thingsIhateandthingsthataredope: 26 Lessons/Rules/Ideas in 26 years

Out of all the blogs I write, my birthday blog is my absolute favorite. It’s a time when I reflect back and try to write out everything I learned whether it has been in the last year or the last 26. As you can see I’m getting older, a bit wiser, and a little less broke, and a little bit sexier. Truth be told, this year started off absolutely awful…a true clusterfuck of unfortunate events but time went on and this has probably become the best year yet. I got over a three year relationship and stopped cutting myself to Dashboard Confessionals songs, I fixed my face and got my jaw filled with screws and collagen, and I handled the IRS ravaging me fairly well. I got through it all and became a better man for it. So without rambling on too much here are 26 rules/ideas/lessons that I’ve learned and try to live by in 26 years; some seem some idiotic and common sense to a five year old, some rules I break even though I try not to, and some would probably just make sense to me.

Some people will just dislike you for no reason; they may base this on generalizations of you, who you’re associated with, or just based off your appearance and that’s perfectly okay….generally these people are fucking assholes.
Women don’t like “assholes”…they just don’t like pussies (I’ve said this before but I don’t care, it’ll never get old)
Help others when you have the chance….it doesn’t take nearly as much effort as you think.
Only give your opinion or advice when your asked and don’t be an asshole about it
If you don’t like the Black Keys there’s a good chance you’re a terrible human being…
Something being easy/hard/impossible is all relative…when I was eight I read that Bruce Lee lifted weights 5 days a week and thought that was impossible…now I train 10 times per week. When I was a freshman in college I was told getting straight A’s was impossible, now getting less than that isn’t an option. You set the bar and you set the level of difficulty with everything.
Sleep and recovery are just as important as any other aspect of your life, you can live off of 3-5 hours of sleep but you can’t thrive on it. You can live off of celery and hot dogs for the rest of your life too but it doesn’t mean you should try it.
Wear clothes that fit and that you feel good in regardless of the brand or current trends….if I could see your belly button through your shirt or you have to hang your jeans around your ass you might have to increase a size or three….
Being a man has nothing to do with how many notches are on your belt, how much weight you lift, or how much beer you can take down…
Don’t be afraid to push yourself beyond your limits every now and then, it’s the best way you can progress.
Your opinion of someone shouldn’t be based off of a person’s religion/sexual orientation/political affiliation….people are generally awesome or assholes and it has nothing to do with what god they believe in, who they love, or what color tie they wear…but if someone is an extremist (i.e. Appalachian Snake Handler) you better be careful with that shit…..sorry Appalachian snake handlers…
Eating a certain way or training a particular style doesn’t make you better than anybody else, it can only make you a better version of yourself *Shelby Starnes* *Karina Rivera*
Try to smell good all of the time….with the exception of working out, there is absolutely no reason to be stinky.
Don’t talk shit about people when they’re not there to defend themselves…or at the very least don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to their face.
Read, read, and read some more…read books, articles, blogs, bottle labels when you’re on the can…it doesn’t matter just read! Time spent reading is never wasted and if you have an hour to watch Snooki take up precious oxygen that could be used to fill empty pickle jars then you have time in your busy schedule to read…start with this.
Unless you’re an English teacher, don’t correct another person’s grammar; it makes you look more like an asshole than it makes the other person look stupid…you know the difference between there, their, and they’re….congratulations, I’m sure the rest of 5^th grade was fantastic for you.
Do what you love, it makes life incredibly easier.
Cut the elitist bullshit out….your bank account/job title/education makes you no better and no worse than anyone else.
Being yourself is much more important than being original…you’re probably much cooler than you think you are when you’re not worrying about only listening to bands I won’t hear about for 15 years and only drinking obscure beers that taste like horse piss
When it comes to relationships all you can do is want and hope. You can only want that person to be with you and only hope they feel the same way but nothing can or should be forced
I gave up drinking for some time and I doubt I’ll ever get shit faced wasted and black out again in my life…but there are some occasions when a toast of champagne or a shot of tequila is absolutely necessary…

(disclaimer: I don’t believe in hate, it’s a tremendous waste of energy and time but if Mr. Rollins says it, then so be it.)

We’ve become a society where we’re being continuously being stimulated by external sources…youtube, facebook, texting, emails, telegrams….we feel we need to be in constant contact with others or we start freaking out….we’ve slowly developed the attention spans of goldfish. Every once in a while it’s alright just to turn everything off and enjoy being by yourself…whether it’s meditating, studying, working out, or eating dessert by yourself like your Steven Glansberg…
Kind of goes with #14, find something you can totally lose yourself in and make it a staple in your life. For me, it’s jiu-jitsu….it’s hard to stress about school or work when you have someone trying to choke you out or break your arm.
Treat your girlfriend/partner/wife/shaaawwwttteeeyyyy as well as you possibly can. She could be with absolutely anyone in the world but she’s with you and there may be times when you don’t deserve to be so damn lucky. Be loyal to her, tell her how you feel, and move mountains for her (Ryan Gosling voice)
Always try to end everything on a good note with no hard feelings….unless rule #1 applies then they should just go fuck themselves.

Well that’s it….those are 26 rules/lessons/ideas I live by. I want to thank you for taking the time to read it; I genuinely appreciate it and you’re all aces in my book. Now I’m off to spend the rest of day lifting heavy things, eating carbohydrates, and being awesome.

Cheers.