25 lessons in 25 years

25 friggin’ years…man I’m getting old and the years aren’t going by any slower. It’s been a great quarter century though, I’ve seen and done some amazing things and while I’m not proud of every decision I’ve made in my life, I couldn’t be happier with where I am now…Each birthday I write a blog on the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned throughout my time here and I like to share a few ideas that hit me along the way….so here are the 25 lessons I’ve learned in 25 years…

1. Find your Jiu jitsu. Find something you have a great passion for and make sure it is a staple in everyday life….it makes every else so much easier.
2. Nobody likes cynicism, they might find comfort in the fact that someone feels as shitty as they do but no one truly likes a cynical outlook on life.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others, they have taken a completely different path with innate or developed abilities you may or may not have. Comparing yourself to others to measure your self-worth will only lead to disappointment in the long run.
4. You can’t control when you get a flat tire, when the IRS decides to rape you and take your money for god knows what, or when someone else is going to be an asshole to you…. You only have control of your attitude towards a situation.
5. Do everything you can ahead of time, plan out your workouts early, prepare your meals ahead of time, complete and submit homework and work projects early….procrastination will only lead to stress, worry, and less quality work.
6. Change isn’t a bad thing; change is inevitable and in most instances a good thing. You may not see it as such in the short term but if you learn and adapt, it can lead to a greater outcome.
7. Love what you do….it’s hard for me to empathize with people who hate their jobs and I’ve had some pretty crappy one’s on my resume but I love what I do…it’s a “chosen career path” not a mandated one, if you have to pay your bills make sure it’s coming from money you enjoyed earning.
8. Get rid of the shitty people in your life…friends and family don’t hurt you, hold you back, or bring you down and if they do they don’t deserve the title. There’s no law saying you have to maintain any type of relationship with these people….unless they’re your kids then ignore this rule.
9. Go all out or none at all….a half ass job should never be acceptable, do everything you can with passion and drive or don’t bother doing it all. Being tired may be an excuse but there’s no excuse for being lazy.
10. Happiness isn’t the amount of money in your bank account, it isn’t a body fat percentage, the number of notches on your belt, or when you finally meet the perfect person….happiness is a choice…you can either choose to be happy or choose to be miserable.
11. People will try to label and stereotype you anyway they want but their judgment of you means absolutely nothing….I’ve been called a mindless meathead for the past 7 years but it’s usually from people who couldn’t do a single push up.
12. There is no excuse for poor nutrition habits...It doesn’t have to be expensive, time consuming or “bad tasting” to be good for you. As Martin Rooney would say, it’s just as easy to eat healthy food as it is to eat unhealthy food, you always have a choice…
13. If you are in a position to help others, do it….I’ve never regretted helping a person in need and neither should you.
14. “Do as I say, not as I do” is total bullshit….lead by example and others will follow….no one wants a fat personal trainer who doesn’t work out just like no one wants a bankrupt accountant doing their taxes. Be the person you want others emulate.
15. Be grateful for what you have and work towards getting what you want. People constantly complain about what they don’t have and seldom say they’re thankful for everything they’ve been blessed with, stop that.
16. Delayed gratification feels ten times better then immediate gratification in every aspect of life…
17. Any physical activity is good as long as you’re doing something. I’m through arguing with bodybuilders, crossfitters, or marathon runners on what style of training is better….if you’re doing something, it’s helping you and if you’re reading this sitting on your couch eating some doritos get off your ass and do any of the above, it all works….
18. Be nice to strangers …not sure why it seems to be human nature to give a person either a blank stare or the stink eye as you pass them in the street but try to smile more and give random people high fives…it’s a pretty awesome feeling but use sanitizer soon after, who knows where their hands have been.
19. Always attempt to grow and learn. Striving for perfection means there’s an end goal in sight but they’re shouldn’t be one, strive for excellence...you can always be stronger, be faster, be smarter and you should never stop growing because once you do that all you’re doing is waiting.
20. The human body is a magnificent machine, thousands of mechanisms happening just to keep you alive second by second…it’s truly a beautiful thing….unfortunately it wasn’t designed for half the shit we put it through…
21. Everything you do has a consequence or a reward. Staying up late on a Thursday to watch the Jersey Shore? then you probably killed a couple brain cells and didn’t get as much sleep as you needed. Everything you do is either putting you a step forward or taking you a step back from your goal but that choice is yours and yours only.
22. Learn to say “no”. This is probably the hardest one I’ve had to understand but it’s definitely the most important. You can’t please everyone, and trying to will just lead to resentment, do what you can when you can but It’s alright if you can’t do whatever someone is asking you for, I’m sure they’ll survive…unless it’s like a kidney or something.
23. You can’t change people, nothing you can say or do will change a person’s habits, flaws, or personality…accept people for who they are or choose not to be around those people
24. Follow your passions, not the expectations of others. It’s your parents dream for you to go to law school, not yours …find what makes you happy and pursue it with your entire being and I promise you success…if it aligns with other’s expectations then great but if not, I’m sure they’ll understand
25. Obstacles are a part of life, they will always be there on any path you take…even the easiest ones. You can either stop at that obstacle and try to find comfort in quitting early or you bulldoze through that motherfucker leaving it in crumbles sprinting towards the next one, it’s your choice.